2 year old muffin

She has been amazing me for two years.





More emotional commentary to follow. My baby is a big girl!

Things that make me laugh

I just spent about a half an hour trying to load pictures of a waffle house wedding that is priceless, but I can't figure out how to load pdf file and save images and load it etc. So instead I will have to laugh to myself. Not so funny to you, but very funny to me.

Let me just say there are pictures of rings in waffles, brides smoking and working behind the counter (in the white dress and everything) and guests seated on those awesome orange pleather seats or the ever present milk crate in the parking lot. That is quite the commitment to the work place people.

On the way to work I saw a lawn company truck the read in BIG letters "GOT GRASS". I don't know why but I chuckled to myself.

Yesterday as I was changing my shirt my daughter looks up and points and says "momma, hair pits". It may be time for me to shave my arm pits. Just maybe. The sad part is I don't want to because I think it is hysterical, and she will doing anything to "touch, momma, touch". Right now I have the power of the pit and I don't want to lose it.

Muahahahahahahaha Pit Power.

So. Sad.........you know its funny.........no I will not raise my hand......

High & Lo*

Yesterday evening I had the chance to catch up with a friend from college and she mentioned that while she enjoyed reading the blog it seemed to be on the negative side. What do I say to that besides the obvious rationalization? So I thought I should mention a couple things.

I write this blog at work. When I get home I refuse to touch a computer and generally a phone so I may be reflecting my environment and general 9-5 mood. I also tend to write when I am all rilled up. I think writing may be a tad more therapeutic then choking various members of the general public (and I swear if my ex uses this sentence to attempt to show that I am a violent person I will give him the evil eye for the next 30 years) and being reduced to a puddle of goo.

In recent months this blog has become a forum for me to bitch and moan with a sampling of sexually repressed anecdotes. I pride myself on being as vocal in person as what I write on the page but seriously.......if another person talks to me about the hand cramping incident I may have to crawl under a rock and die. Do you really want to ruin THAT for me?? I kid. Kind of.

Don't worry bloggy and real life friends. I continue to have joy in my life each and everyday and always see the humor. A lot of this stuff sucks, but it is also really funny. Because if you don't laugh you cry and I look just awful crying!

My family and friends are like no others. They lift me up and remind me of who I am and who I can be. Because of all the different paths that you have taken I see what is out there and see that happiness and joy come in different packages. You guys ROCK!



*Hel-lo

Revisiting the quarter life crisis

I was going to right some post about how I am a fool for not getting enough sleep, exercise, etc and the hurricane is/is not coming AKA "whine, bitch and moan" and then I received a fax.

Although this fax was certainly not meant for me or anyone in my office it did an amazing job of giving me that little piece of clarity that I needed for today. It was all the paperwork for a woman's headstone. Two sentences where her daughters expressed how they felt.

In two sentences I can't even express my simplest of thoughts, how would I ever be able to summarize what someone means to me. Then there is that ever present question of how I want to be remembered.....damn....I want people to remember me being so much more than I am now. I need to do something so much greater.

Even before the fax arrived I have been struggling with the question of purpose. I have a lot to offer humanity but right now I am giving nothing. I am trying to be a good mother, daughter and friend but I think I can do more. I am standing on two feet as opposed to being in an emotional ditch because I have support around me. Wouldn't it be great if I could be that support for children, teen mothers or another group where I have relatability? Why can't compensation be in alignment with a sound mission and passion.

I feel like my time is ticking/ wasting each day and I'm sick of it. I need to be able to provide for my family but on some level I know I can make "a difference" (not to sound like a big giant cliche) and I stop myself because I feel like the economics of it won't work.

I have so much life to live but right now I'm not living it to it's full extent (or even a quarter of it).

Holding the Chuppah

Smerm and Jerm were married this weekend and I held the Chuppah. This was the most amazing wedding ever. The weather was perfect in the CT/NY mountains, there was no cell phone reception (awesome (and I am being sincere)), the evenings were crisp and I was with my best friends from high school.

It was like being at summer camp except without all the awkward teenage moments. Now we were all cool kids and one of us was getting married, one of us had a kid, one of us was starting out as an amazing artist (what up Jew- yah) and we all got to celebrate the marriage of two people who actually belong together....who glow because they have each other.

This glow has eaten my brain apparently and now I'm all mushy. I seriously have to get on this finding my soul mate.....right as soon as I finish divorcing my last "soul mate".

This wedding was a true blend of both of them and a reflection of all that they are. I thought Latins were the dancing kings but I was wrong, it is Jewish men that have the moves. The history that was involved in the songs, the service, the dancing it reminded me of how much I wanted to be a Jew in high school and why it still appeals (thank God my mom doesn't read this because right now she would have had a stroke and I would have to be praying to the sweet baby Jesus for her to recover).

Today I am recovering from a happy hang over and saying hi to all my high school friends (what up Brbs) and missing them.

Purple Hair

I'm currently mulling a lot of things over. Big things, change my life things. So in my classic style I disappear from the blogosphere, which is a shame because so much fun stuff happened.

-I rescued ducklings from a storm drain by holding my sister by the ankles while yelling that I was going to drop her. I have not laughed that hard in years.
-I went out. On the town. At night. (I even wore real clothing!)
-We went to the most awesome children's museum.
-I'm talking to "people" from my past who I've missed for too long.
-I dyed my hair purple just in time to be a bridesmaid.*




*I need to make sure you people are paying attention. If you didn't know, I have never dyed my hair. I'm waiting for the grey!

When are you too old for a booty call?

This morning after waking up at my usual (not nice) time I looked at my phone and saw I had a text. That is not unusual except that once again it was quite early. I opened the phone and saw who it was from (a former on again off again male "friend"). I also happened to notice that it came in at 3:45 am.

I am so old now that:
a. I consider that an early morning text as opposed to a late night next.
b. I didn't even wake up when the text came in because I was passed out (and not from drinking).
c. I was outraged that he would send the message at that hour and expect me to respond.
d. I was intrigued that this boy was thinking about me at that hour of the morning/evening.
e. I have this amount of time an energy to dedicate to a text that said "Hey" but have four week old nail polish on my toes.