Greetings from Alabama

I've been in an admitted hiding thinking, unpacking, ignoring and taking it all in. I finally have my necessities: internet, phone (with unlimited long distance) and a sense of my bearings. I can still be at a Starbucks within 15 minutes and in the giant big box that is Super Target.

With all this time outside of my routine I have had nothing but time to think and for me this can often be a dangerous and counter productive thing. Unfortunately it makes me doubt and question EVERYTHING. Very few of these questions have actually surfaced and these issues are now lingering and yes I know I am being evasive.

Two days ago I finally broke down and put the muffin in a day care....with strangers. She is 14 months and this is the first time I have had to do it (my mom was watching her in Miami). I went to pick her up after her 5 hour stint and she was covered in her food, from lunch with her pants on backwards. They seem like sweet women and today I brought a washcloth for her so she was 95% crust free. She was missing an earring but I am trying to let it go. She doesn't cry when I leave but today she cried when I picked her up, it broke my heart.

I've also achieved the complete inability to make major decisions. I currently have no car (sold mine in Miami) so I am renting and nothing is on our walls. So besides not being sure of where I am living or what I am driving I'm all set?!?

Along with the questioning I have also been able to enjoy what small town America has to offer me. Watching people finalize their Christmas decorations with all the white twinkling lights, seeing the stars at night, hearing the sound of children playing in their yards, the cool crispness in the air and going for walks without the fear of being mowed down is amazing.

Roll tide.....or whatever they say...

The trip was a welcome and beautiful, where I realized how much I enjoy seeing the leaves change, how nice it is when the air is crisp and how nice it is for strangers to smile and wave.

We went for a walk Sunday morning at 6:30 in the morning, then we walked to church (a miracle in itself) where everyone asked our names and then listened to the answer. The men open doors, people call you Miss and Ma'am and smile. Did I mention how people smile and wave?

After going through my life thinking I have no identifiable accent and loving that fact I started to hear how harsh my voice is. I pronounce hi as "high", harsh and to the point, I can be snarky and I'm very direct in dealing with people. This may be the excuse I have needed to further hone my skills in diplomacy and the effective smile. Who can be mad at you when you are always smiling? I sure as hell don't want to be known as that Yankee bitch!

The cultural differences are astounding. Even the concept of beauty is altered. Women really take care of themselves. The hair, makeup and nails are all done up. These women make sweat suits look classy. I even took the time to do my eyes and lips, it felt great to get it together for a moment.

I can finally say that I am excited to make the move up there. I can't wait to be part of a true community where I know my neighbors and care about them. Miami has been great and I have made lifelong connections but the day to day can be isolating. You are a number in a large sprawling beautiful city where you spend more time in your car than playing in your yard. Family & friend time requires a lot of effort here, I know that this will change. I already know groups of parents with small children in Alabama where in Miami I have struggled to meet other working parents.

Right now I am concentrating on all the positives and I know it is not always going to be pro Alabama but right now I am still in the dating stage and I'm hoping to fall in love.

Sweet home Alabama

Ok, so we are back. After a total of around 24 hours in the car, three states (FL should count for 2 when you are driving from Miami), and 3 days without seeing our little muffin we arrived back in town.

A couple southern observations:

Y'all drive real slow.
You fry everything.
If I lived here I would be 400 lbs.
Grammar is more of a theory as opposed to rules.
I love trees.
There is no traffic.
In a town of 5,000 people I can be anywhere in 5 minutes.
I never thought I would ever want to live on a farm......I don't think I would mind it now.....did I mention I like trees....and grass....and maybe even a horse.
People have kids young, really young.
People do smile more.
There must be an invisible line excluding Hispanics and Asians (we slipped under the wire as White Hispanics as soon as we swore we would never speak Spanish or cook frijoles).
Boys play football and girls are cheerleaders.

As far as stories, I don't really have many. The trip was pretty uneventful and it was nice to spend some time alone with the husband, alone. Since we were leaving the muffin with grandma and grandpa I thought this might be a good time to wean the baby. My boobs were surprisingly cooperative and leak free....until we got home and I saw the baby and the dam broke and my shirt was wet and we didn't have formula and I ended up breastfeeding again, dammit.

With the baby reaching the 1 year old mark this month I am ready to move on from this whole boob thing. At this point she realizes what is up and yesterday she actually blew on my nipples. As in "mom, these things are hot pfffff, pffff". This bonding thing is over, I love her, she loves me now someone pass me my shirt.

In the spirit of changing the subject once again did I mention that we got flees? As much as I would like to blame it on Alabama we actually got it from a family members house, who had a dog, who ran away and left a lasting memory.

Does anyone else feel itchy??