Um yeah....so I have been in hiding....again....but I'm back (I hope). For the past couple months I have internally been in a war zone. I would open a fresh post type something that might actually have some substance and then erase it. For me the act of verbalizing it/ writing it is really the end. In this case it is the demise of my marriage.
I'd like to say I am not going into details out of respect blah, blah, blah but the actuality is that he reads this blog on occasion. Even though everything I would be typing is truth I don't really feel like putting up with more shit, so I won't.
In response to some reactions that I have gotten:
yes, I have thought this through
yes, I know what I'm doing
yes, I have thought about my daughter(I would never have done it for myself)
no, I do not want a seperation
So in the past weeks I have been back in FL, gotten an attorney (he has too), started filing the paperwork, moved out (still in AL so he can still visit the muffin) and tried once again to put together my life. This time the only people I have to think about are my daughter and myself and honestly it is a relief.
I am a believer of the concept: Happy parent= happy child. My goal now is to see the joy in everything that is good (and even the things that are not), take the time to enjoy those moments that go by so quickly, enjoy the positive relationships that I do have and most importantly enjoy this amazing little person that I have the privilege of calling my daughter.
I am a lucky girl people, I have friends and family that would do anything for me and my own space in this world. Instead of mourning I am full of an optimism I haven't had for years.
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7 comments:
Wow! I'm glad you are able to look at this situation with such a positive attitude. I had been wondering where you have been. I know that there isn't really anything I can do but please know I'll be thinking of you and please keep us posted.
I admire you for taking that hard step. Doing what is best for yourself isn't always easy. You're really lucky to have a good support system.
i almost want to say congratulations though that sounds weird when someone is getting a divorce. you just sound ...good. so that's something to say- good for you!
I was wondering where you were! I'm so sorry. (I mean, even if it's a good thing, it's still bad, right?)
Hang in there.
I just wanted to pipe in. I have lurked on your blog before (I am not sure if I've ever said hello).
I am not a fan of broken homes, but having been IN YOUR SHOES, I have to say that I believe that you have thought this out and are doing what you think is best for you and your daughter.
I had to stand against my entire family and friend base to do what I KNEW in my heart was the right thing.
Hardest (And best) thing I have ever done.
I think you are very brave.
Hopefully, your husband will come to peace with the decision. It took a long time for mine to finally admit that I DID THE RIGHT THING for both of us.
congrats on knowing when its just not going to work out and having the courage to say that. When we first announced our divorce everyone said i am sorry, la-di-da..whatever. Only one person, a very spiritual person, congratulated me on having made a tough decision. I have been legally divorced now for maybe 5 days and its nice. I started a new blog so he would not read and i could still write, but i have not told anyone about new blog. I just realized today it is nearing its 1yr birthday and has had zero visitors. I thought that was pretty neat, but thats I write some strange things there. I have also never linked it to anything.
Lucky...
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