It's on like Donkey Kong

I've done it. I have joined a gym.

I have been avoiding this topic like the plague. It has been the "elephant in the room"....and frankly I am tired of being that elephant.

I am caffeinated and feeling crack headed (baby has a cold= mommy gets no sleep) so I'm laying most of my cards on the table.

I gained 75lbs with my pregnancy. To clarify for some of you:

-I only had one baby
-It was 10 months ago
-I could still wear my maternity clothes if I let myself
-I was this heavy a couple years ago but went through great lengths to lose all the weight
-I totally let myself go while pregnant and reverted to all my bad habits, didn't exercise etc.
-I loved that for the first time in my life people were encouraging me to eat instead of giving the "are you really going to eat that??" stare down....so duh I ate it!

I am miserable at this weight. After having tasted the healthy, athletic, self control happy life, I am bitter to be back in this place. I won't buy clothing or spend any money on myself because I don't want to stay this way. So basically for months I have been restricted to about 3 pairs of pants and a couple shirts. It is not pretty people.

I am not focused on a particular weight or size. I need to be healthy again. I am literally falling apart with this weight back on. I am a less productive human being like this. I want to glow again.

I know so many of you feel the same way...I read your blogs. We should have a bloggers biggest loser. If you want to participate email me at skyzi(at)aol(dot)com. I have no idea why I wrote it like that but that's how I see other people do it. I also think that there should be monetary incentive. If we can get just 10 people to participate at $20/head that is $200 for the winner. Tell me what would motivate you, how long you think it should last etc.

One additional note: My baby came out totally perfect so I would do it all over again. She was 9lbs, 11oz. I will never gain that kind of weight with any future pregnancy's.

crawled into my brain

be back sometime....

When I get overwhelmed with life I get very quiet.

Very. Quiet.

And I say everything is fine. I am fine, fine, fine.

I am throwing one of my best friends a baby shower this weekend so all of my "fine-ness" is being compounded because I procrastinate.

It will be lovely, I will be a good host, everyone will have fun and love me.

I am FINE.

Because I finally loaded all our videos

you are privy to another priceless moment demonstrating how enchanting I am to my daughter.



Muahahahaha.....

Muffin on the move

I have totally been holding out on some news (feel free to only watch the first 5 seconds):



Did anyone else find this frightening? I don't even want to show you how fast she moves now!

Meema

No, I didn't fall in....I just lost some of my internet dedication, for a moment....or two. That and my husbands grandma passed away. I had an eloquent write up in my head for this woman.....but it all escapes me right now.

She was a hard core Texan, she loved her black eyed peas (not the band), her yellow roses and hated those damn Yankees (not the team). The first time she met me she told me how happy she was that I wasn't a colored girl and that I wasn't some crazy girl from New York....and she was so serious. So I kept it to myself that I was from a Cuban family from NY, because did I mention she was a Texan.

This woman had spunk and spirit. She also held the role of #1 cheerleader for my husband, he could do nothing wrong. I cried like a weenie this weekend because it is so hard to lose people in your life who make you feel like you can do anything. Growing up he didn't have enough of those people.....

She loved her family, loved God and was wicked smart. She was 83 and had a doctorate in nursing. Her mail read Dr and Mr. For her generation that was unheard of. She had three degrees, two kids, a husband and a partridge in a pear tree. She even wrote a book on grieving.

I am going to miss her for her spunk and all the gifts she gave my family. I will also smile everytime I think of how I am that damn Yankee girl her grandson brought home.

#5,126

WARNING: The following material may be offensive, crass and cause you to question parenthood.

So this morning yet again I was blown away by what I now do in the name of parenthood. Can I get a drum roll??

I sat on the toilet and took a crap with my daughter sitting in my lap while singing and waving toilet paper in the air like a flag.......

...and this isn't the worse thing I have had to do in order to maintain my daughters attention.

Vintage

No time to write, or to think. I must find an affordable vintage national parks poster.

Why you ask??

We have a large couch, on a large wall with a large stark ugly space above it. My husband is in love with parks period (he will be completing his Masters in Parks & Recreation [if you know anyone with a parks connection let me know......I love you long time, jk....but not really]). I already have a couple original posters throughout the apartment but I feel like it would really look great in there and tie in thematically and color wise.

My design juices are filling my brain and on the verge of overflowing. This week has been filled with design blogs and color swatches and design shows. There is absolutely such a thing as too much input/information.

I'm sure all these extra curricular pursuits have nothing to do with my medical exams......yes I am avoiding talking about it until further notice. I know you want to know now but you will just have to wait, like the huge empty wall above my couch.

Dressing

After getting dressed today the following thoughts went through my head:

Wow, this sweater shrank in the dryer.....

OMG, could I be getting fatter????

Did I actually believe myself when I said this shirt shrank??

Say shirt shrank 4 times fast....

Maybe if I just try to stretch out the fabric.....

Damn cotton!