Because I can

She is my light and my soul and she cracks me up!


A little light but still funny!


Is it me or does she look inebriated?
(AFTERTHOUGHT: Looking at this shot....does anyone else see the Flock of Seagulls hairdo?)


It is so hard being loved!

Crazy Sexy Cancer

Last night I had the opportunity to watch a documentary by Kris Carr entitled Crazy Sexy Cancer on TLC. The film was a-m-a-z-i-n-g.

We saw a 31 year old woman encounter cancer and come out ahead of the situation. She discovered joy and the ability to truly live. Her blog while being new already has some great writing:

"Life is a terminal condition, cancer patients are just more aware of it..."

"......I think we tapped into the sweet spot, the place in each of us where possibility meets human potential. Where curiosity hugs "why not?" Here’s the deal, cancer is a just a silly metaphor, like it or not, it’s in each of our lives in some way. For me it’s tumors for you it may be a bad job, your weight or a dead end relationship etc, etc. It’s spooky but it doesn't have to be taboo. It’s just life, so we have to wake up to it!"

This film made me laugh, cry and question what the hell I am doing. Why aren't I as happy as I can be? Why don't I embrace my creative self, my spiritual self, my healthy self? Why should I wait for some earth shattering event (ex. cancer, death) to wake me up? Why I am I so fearful of the changes I will have to make?

I know I have an enormous inner strength but I need to use it daily, not just when the shit hits the fan. I don't want to be a person bogged down by circumstance, I want to mold it, make it my vision, make it joy.

Anecdotes from the gym

I am terribly unattractive when I run, walk, eliptacize(??). My mouth goes up and down exposing varying degrees of teeth. I now understand why I have never dated someone from the gym....that and the fact that historically I have always gone to women's gyms....

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I like it when the trainers milling around the gym tell me "good job".

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I am so sick of my play list on my scandisk.

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I have lost 3 lbs. in two weeks. For the first time in almost 2 years I saw the scale go down....it ROCKS! Before baby it would have taken me 10-20 lbs. to feel this good. Now I'm learning to celebrate the small victories.

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I eat a lot better now that I understand how friggin long it takes to burn 400 calories.

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I don't care how thin I get, I will never wear spandex pants. I admire the women at the gym who are able to rock the spandex.....they are the few, the proud (not the marines) who can actually wear it. It also helps that they have enormous breasts to distract the general public.

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I do not enjoy people who are very noisy when they work out. I get it, you lift weights, stop puffing all over the place.

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Why am I the only person who gets incredibly sweaty?

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Overheard: "Last week I couldn't even get off the toilet my legs hurt so much".

I feel her pain, I couldn't lift my arms to fix my hair. Typing this post is almost too hard......almost.

Name Game

When it comes to a first, middle and last name I for one have been blessed. No, I am not going to share, but they are original enough to make me feel special but not so strange that I am made to feel like a freak (except for one person in college who took my initials and made it into a part of the female anatomy).

Being in a business where I come in constant contact with new people or at least their information, I have come across some strange ones. So in my continued effort to be thankful I bring you the following list (names I have come across):

Thank you God my name is not....

First names:

Pervez
Jesus (the bar is too high)
Kevin (was a girl)
Dick
Suckie

Last names:

Overfelt (especially bad as a woman)
Weiner/ Weener
Raper (he was a male)
Niggaman (I have yet to say his last name out loud)
Hussein
Bush
Binladen
Stoner
Stumpy (I'm already on the short side)



Disclaimer: I am sorry if your name is part of the list. This name has made you the wonderful person you are but I as a weaker person never would have made it with that name....I can't run that fast.

Manic Monday

Why is it that the one (and virtually only) day I do not wear underwear also happens to be the day that I have a giant hole in the crotch of my pants?

Hello my name is Britney.....

Self image

I go to the bathroom, look in the mirror, look at my hair and think of this:



As someone who fell asleep during this movie (I'm sorry, I was exhausted....yes it is an amazing groundbreaking film...blah, blah, blah) I find it a little concerning that I see myself as some sort of "male" fairy/ elf type thing.

The sad part is that his hair is so much smoother and healthier looking than mine.

Oh great, now the fairy has better hair than me???

No place like home?

For the past couple years I have been grappling with idea of where I want to settle down in terms of location. Before we had the baby and it was just us or just me Miami was the coolest place on earth. Great weather, hot people, materialism at its worst, all in all a good time. Now everything has changed. We don't spend our weekends on the beach or going out with friends at night (even though we could stand to go out here and there), our best hours are during the day light.

Our world is our daughter followed by family and friends. The question is: can a city make it harder/ easier to raise a child? I always fought this idea, I wanted to believe that I as the parent could mold be child. Now I am realizing that parenting is going to be hard, the hardest thing I have ever done and I might as well make it a little easier for myself.

I was raised in the suburbs of NYC. We lived in a fantastic upper middle class area where as children we never questioned if we were going to college we just thought of where (in my delusional childish mind I was a Harvard grad....hahahaha). Everyone had two cars, a garage, a backyard etc. Behind closed doors everyone had there problems and until I got older this was my American Dream.

I have always been financially driven. Until recently I wanted to start a business empire, be a part of something big. Then I became part of something even larger: I got married, had a kid and realized all I need is enough. I need to know that my child is going to be safe if I let her walk down the block by herself, I need enough money to pay my bills and take a vacation once in awhile, I need enough family around me so that I feel stability.

Don't get my wrong, I still love the finer things in life but now I know that those things are not going to make me happy (feel free to donate your millions, your houses and your cars). Looking at the faces of the people in my family and my friends and seeing those smiles is what drives me. This is why I go to work, this is why I deal with certain things in my life.

I totally just went off on a tangent but I am realizing that Miami is not where I want to have my children grow. I want to live in a place where I can sit back, watch my children, watch my parents enjoying my children and realize that I have it all.

20/20

It may be time to get new glasses when:

-you see an old woman walking her dog while wearing a WWII war helmet only to drive a little closer and see that she is in fact wearing a sun visor.

-you see three volleyball type things in a field only to see that in fact they are birds....that move...and are alive.

-you have to roam the parking lot at work for 5 minutes because you can no longer spot your car (or is that memory loss??).

-you and your mother spend your time asking each other "can you see what it says? No, can you? I can't, you squint and figure it out, I give up."

Musical mood

This is what I am currently listening to on repeat.



A little melancholy is sometimes needed. You better watch out or I'll whip out some Tori Amos and Sarah McLaughlin on your ass.

Brilliant

Such a clear example of the power of art.



Visit PostSecret to see more.

Nothing left to say

Because I am shall we say tapped out emotionally I have very little to say at this point. On the up side I finally made the time to start a design blog. If you want to see what is catching my eye at the moment you can meet me over at Skyzi Eyes.

I also updated some recent Flickr pics. Mostly muffin being sick and our trip to Orlando to have fun with the Husbands family. All the children depicted are aunts and uncles. They crack me up!

One phone call changes everything

My dad called, the doctors think he has Parkinson's. WTF, my daddy's sick.

Feelin the burn

I have my orientation at the gym during lunch today. I am going to meet the equipment, make nice, etc. Apparently it take a full hour to meet all the nice machines.

Yesterday while not working out I went to pick up a couple work out pants. With my legs in their current tree trunk status shorts are not going to be a great alternative. So I am set, ready to get my sweat on.

Did I mention that this is one of those gyms. Because of my issue with not having a lot of time I have to work out on my lunch break. Because I work in a building off the main drag the only gym where it will take me less than half an hour to get to is in the building. This is not a gym that has multiple locations, what you see here is what you get. What this means is that they are able to charge 3 times the average membership fee.

Now let me tell you about the key feature that always captures my attention. The women who work out here are gorgeous. My office building is in a section of town that can be quite uppity so the majority of people working out during the day are falling under the category of "trophy wives". (I'm sorry if this term upsets anyone but I couldn't think of another way to put it) I can't compete, I'm not trying to compete but when a woman walks by and in my head I'm saying "DAMN" I can only imagine what that does to a man. Here is the real question: why don't these ladies sweat? Apparently I have acquired all the sweating genes for southern Florida.

So yeah, maybe I'll update after lunch.....if I can feel my arms and am not sweating too bad. Wish me luck!

UPDATE: Of course I feel great, of course I should have done this sooner. It is almost comforting to feel my muscles burn, they are still there. buried. under fat. The key is that they will get un buried in good time. Or as the trainer said: you just got to slice the fat off, like a turkey slicer (he then proceeded to make slicing noises and waving his arms around like he works at the supermarket. I can't ever say the man wasn't peppy!)

Buy Kleenex stock NOW

I was so excited to start my regimen this week....before the plague hit my home. I'm not talking a mere cold, I am talking knock down drag out Chilean germs.

After spending last weekend (the weekend before last) in Orlando with my in laws and their 6 kids (not including my husband) we got the funk. They have been living down in Chile for the past 2 years so seeing them is always fun but we ALWAYS get sick afterwards. If you hear reports of a small epidemic starting in Miami, it is so my family's fault. Everyone who has come into contact with us, spoken with us is sick. By reading this post you too could be feeling the sniffles coming on.

I have seen my daughter with a cold. This is an entirely different beast. For 48 hours she cried. My happy, smiley baby did nothing but whimper. No sleeping, just crying. After one evening of worrying that my child's brain was going to scramble because she was so hot we took her to the doctor. Double ear infection (it really made my day to see the doctor look in one of her ears and say "whoa, that one is bad" (dripping sarcasm)) with a severe head cold. Because her sinuses are draining she has a nice juicy cough. Because she is a tiny muffin she can't stop herself and for three days in a row has waited until I was holding her, waited until after she ate and then coughed until she barfed. Did I mention that my husband and I are sick as well?

So yeah, there has been no exercise, no posting, no chatting with internet buddies, no speaking with "live" friends. Just walking around in a haze trying to not get barfed on.

Did I mention how amazed the pediatrician was that my daughter could walk. Not just teeter but full on walk. Yes we are very proud, yes we know we had nothing to do with it and yes we are calling Harvard right now.