I have always thought of myself as a creative/artistic person. This does not mean that I can draw a picture of you and actually have it look like you. I always had that creative outlet. In high school I physically made art favoring mixed media then I went into photography. I love capturing an image and being able to enjoy it later on. My travel pictures are some of my most treasured possessions.
When I went to college I majored in art history and continued to dabble in studio arts. I always loved art, the energy that surrounds artsy people. Creativity is so inspiring! Even through this whole process I always knew that I would never make a living as a "creative" person. Don't get me wrong, I am creative in my day to day but it is in the sales arena. I feel like I have always treaded a fine line of being overly responsible, maintaining a corporate America job all the while looking at the other side of leaving my "steady" job and running off to do my own thing.
At the end of the day I know I wouldn't make a good "starving artist". That could be my subconscious talking myself out of it but I do think that it is accurate. I crave stability, a home that is my own, adequate school for my kids...nothing too crazy. I also crave something that intrigues my artistic mind, something out of the box something where I can feel extraordinary every day.
The other day my husband asked why I didn't take pictures anymore, didn't paint. Then he went further and said that he had never seen me do any of those things, and he was right. Since he has met me I have put all emotional/ spiritual pursuits on hold and I don't really know why. I have been busy assembling my life as I thought it should be: husband, baby, home, work....I have neglected an area that gives me a lot of my spark, part of me that I used to define myself with.
Every day I take hundreds of mental pictures, enjoy the small things, want to preserve that mental picture. I think it is about time I start capturing those things again and with that recapture a part of me.