My brother is significantly younger than me. Because of this fact I have been known to baby him and in my mind he is still a little boy who rubs his fingers together to tell me that he wants raisins, God forbid he would harm his vocal cords speaking. Even though I still see him as a child he has grown up, he is moving on and he no longer needs me to translate.
Having him around and be able to watch him blossom, have a girlfriend, become an uncle has been a privilege but also a reality check. As I sat through his graduation, helped him pick out his tux for prom while taking pictures I realized that I am no longer in that stage of life.
I was never one of those kids that said that high school was the time of life. I liked it, loved my friends but was happy to move on. College was also good times but not the end all be all. Since college without that harsh divide of time separating my life stages time has flown. I was soooo comfortable with my time being carved out for me. Having to define everything myself is almost too much freedom.
Having a baby has once again given me a ticking time line: When I should have another baby, when I should be moved into a larger home, when I should have x amount of money in the bank, when I should decide whether or not to send my daughter to public school, when I should have it all figured out (ha!).
That poor boy, now I am going to have to hunt him down to give him a hug.....because no matter how messed up we can be at times that is how we roll.
Mom & brother Graduation '07